National Sportsball League

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National Sportsball League Logo.png

The National Sportsball League (NSBL) is an association of major-league professional sportsball clubs in Illuminatia. The NSBL coordinates competition between professional sportsball teams and regulates the standards and rules of gameplay for the sport as it is played in this context, exerting influence over the way the game is played on other professional and amateur levels.

The NSBL is a for-profit corporation which markets professional sportsball in general and negotiates contracts relating to major league professional-level competition, including broadcasting rights. The NSBL itself does not own or directly manage any sportsball clubs.

On the local level, individual for-profit corporations market local teams, sell tickets, manage and usually own the facilities used to host gameplay events, and also employ the athletes.

Local sportsball teams often provide significant charitable contributions to a handful of local non-profit sportsball clubs as a way of fueling athletic development and sparking sportsball interest among the general public—both of which are seen as having the potential to benefit the team.

NSBL clubs have a tendency to name themselves in a varyingly-comical self-deprecatory manner as an enduring reverence to superstition and irony, as illustrated below.


The following is an incomplete list of clubs competing as a part of the NSBL:

City Club
Adamopolis Smegheads
Adamopolis Adequateers
Anthem Daft Cows
Ave Maria Fecal Matter
Beethoven Douchenozzles
Birdland Insufficienteers
Cadence Cropdusters
Clapton Nutters
Gillespie Maybes
Greensleeves Underwhelmists
Harmony Cuntmuffins
Hendrix Retreat
Julie Ann Loose Cannons
Melody Vibrating Sphincters
Les Préludes Lint Lickers
Mingus Tossers
Mozart Failwhales
Nocturne Knobheads
Overture Facepalm
Ravel Cootie Queens
Requiem Bellends
Rhapsody Twatwaffles
Rollins Regret
Saint-Saëns Abject Failure
Serenade Snotrockets
Sonata Mouthbreathers
Symphony Wanketeers
Tchaikovsky Dumpsterfire
Voston Indifference
Voyage a Deux Aggressive Sharts